What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

True - how I loved my mum!

Why after 50 years of being straight do I constantly desire to suck cock?

What do you mean son?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Why do I keep dreaming of my mom, who recently passed away from cancer, still being sick and in pain?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Do you know what she said mum?

What! how could you do that?

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She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Can someone write me a sex story?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

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Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!